((forpetesake)) - sorry you're feeling so low. How did the concert go? It's very hard dealing with significant people leaving and it sounds like you're grieving a deep betrayal. I can relate to how you feel because I've been betrayed in some deep ways and lost family members due to death also.

Your doctor and your pastor are significant life lines so to speak. I'm sure you looked to them for guidance and grounding. Can you stay in touch via email at least. I know it's tempting to just shut yourself away, so you won't feel hurt again - I am challenged with this very came issue ATM

I know it hard to come to terms with changes and people coming in and out of our lives. Do you have a therapist or was your doctor your Pdoc? You mentioned, you've known some wonderful people in your life. All you can do in concentrate on that thought - that if you close yourself off, to spare the pain of separation - you'll miss out on new opportunities to meet more wonderful people. I also know what it feels like to be estranged from my mother - it really hurts. Fortunately we made peace before she passed. I hope you feel better.