My mother has not been diagnosed with bipolar, but this is my profession and I strongly feel that she is. I feel she has Bipolar II. I love my mother, but sometimes her mood swings drive me absolutely insane. I feel that she uses me and my father as a scapegoat, and not my brother. Maybe it is also because her mother treated her like crap and not her brother. I do not feel that she intentionally means to do this and I know that she loves both of us equally. My mother is easily triggered into her moods. At times, I do not even know or understand what made her so upset. Let me give you an example. I come home most weekends and still have my bedroom at my house. I was placing my bags in my room when she comes in and wants me to move it because of a cat scratching post that was on the floor. I moved it a little and said I do not want to trip over my bags. Lord have mercy that set her off. She said she did not know why she invited me over this weekend and that I never change. Huh??? So I stayed away from her because I knew her mood. Hours later she kept saying that I came home different and slammed her bedroom door. So the next morning she stays in bed for the morning. I just figured she was tired. I asked if she was ok and again she said that I am always starting up and referred back to the freaking scratching box incident. I said I was sorry and left. She wakes up and is still angry. She says I don't know how you are in this field amongst other hurtful things. I said I do not want to fight because I want to celebrate that I got my first official full paycheck. her comment was that it wasn't a big deal and that everyone gets paychecks all the time. I admit that I lost my cool after that because I could not take it anymore. I said this is what depresses me. She kept saying yeah yeah blame it on me. That's another thing. I cannot verballize my feelings, because I am not supposed to feel anything but happiness. Oh and she also said that if it wasn't for me and my brother that she would have killed herself a long time ago. So I am really hurt and wrote her an email. I made sure it wasn't attacking. Jus simply said that I was concerned about her and that I wished she got help. For the rest of the day she spoke a few words to me. She went to bed and in the morning I went to say goodbye to her. She exploded saying that she was the devil and that everything was her fault according to my email. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I went back to my house that sunday night and spent the whole ride home crying. How can you deal with your mother when she does not think that there is a prob, when she would not see someone for it, when you can't tell her what she did that upet you, and when you can't verbalize how you are feeling?!!