I think I posted here once before. I rarely cut. Months can go by
and I have a bad night when everything hits the fan and I spiral downward
into this place. This place that is removed from reality, I know I'm doing it, but its too surreal to accept it. I have never cut deeply, only superficial.

I sent my counselor a email that night, that I had cut, and needed to see
the open emotional wound that was bothering me, that we had discussed during our last sesson...bleed. He called me the next day, he asked me to promise him I will call him the next time I have thoughts of doing it.
I said I would try. But I didn't actually promise him. He thinks that if he
plants this in my head, calling him, that it might prevent me from doing it.
I dont want to call him at night, after a couple of drinks, to tell him I'm going to cut myself. Yuck. And because he knows this would be hard for me, he is banking it might stop me. I dont know. I'm 51 by the way.
Just started doing this this year.