haven't written now in about a week I think. I was doing fine I felt great was working on my website things were starting to look up. I am still waiting to find out if my unemployment is approved (should find out by next week) and then wham it hits me depression. No no no I don't want this. Not now. I was just starting to get my life back this isn't fair. I sit here and cry. I sit here and do nothing. I feel horrible. I look horrible. I am so empty inside.

My daughter is having oral surgery on friday and I want to be able to take care of her without feeling awful. I want to feel normal - damn it I am so sick of this. I feel trapped. I hate being like this.