I know I have issues. I am 39 years old, and I feel like a complete idiot for cutting, but I still do. I am so tired of pretending that everything's ok when it isn't. Sometimes I just wish I were dead. It would be easier. I am trying to start a new relationship, and every time something doesn't go the way I think it should, I lose it and start cutting. I just want to know that I'm not a complete psycho. I hate that I feel this way.