Quote:
Originally Posted by treehouse
So. I guess the END of the story of today's session is that T ended by saying "sometimes I'm a bad T, but I'm usually a good one". Today was a "bad T" day.
We just weren't connecting at all. He was feeling really..concerned? defensive?...about his part in the time thing, and was SO focused on that. I have been struggling in the hugest way since my session on Thursday with "all of the boundary crossings in the past were caused by me". I SO needed to get some help and relief at today's session, but T just couldn't hear me. And it was a 90 minute session, so it just feels like a waste of what could have been a really helpful time.
He finally, FINALLY got it at the end, and tuned in to what I was saying, and we did talk about what I needed to talk about for about 10 minutes. Then I gave him his socks and cried a whole bunch and then I left.
It just is what it is. I don't expect T to be perfect...he's only a person, and today, he was WAY more in "person" mode than in "T" mode.
It just sucks that now I have to sit with these feelings another week. They hurt, and I'm tired.
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Socks??
I'm sure there is a story behind that.
My T isn't perfect. I realize that he isn't perfect though. What helps is how direct I can be with him at times. I am 99% direct if my T pisses me off. I don't like wasting time, and I've had sessions where it has felt it hasn't gone where it should go or that my T just simply didn't get me that day at that moment. I usually tell him and he's really appreciative of the feedback. I had one session that was completely my fault, where I just couldn't say a damn thing, so I sat there in mostly silence.
Are you direct with your T, or do you expect him to just read between the lines? I find that being direct (as much as I am emotionally able to) is the better route because I don't waste so much time or energy.
Usually though, the good far outweighs the bad and you will live another week to talk about it. Sitting with feelings is something I find hard to do (or rather that I found difficult to do in the past).
It probably helps that my T doesn't have ADHD like I do.