Girl, you need to ditch this guy and get into a healthy relationship! End of story, no internet substitutes because your experience with this guy could have implications on future relationships. plus it sounds like you need to address your self esteem issues before yoou can really begin to meet good guys. it seems like you are just with this guy cuz he pays you attention. but a relationship needs emotional intimacy and team work and care which im not hearing in your post. its not your job to fix a messed up guy its his job to fix himself. trust me on this one get your own issues taken care of first to enable yourself to have future relationships that are healthy andd happy. i hope this helps. peace