Just when I thought I was stable and that I would be stable forever... I don't even know how to describe how I feel right now. I've been shaking all day, not like uncontrollable tremors or something but more from anxiety/on edge feeling.... I just haven't been able to focus lately and I can feel myself losing control - it's so hfieofaaihfiuds frustrating!!! I have the urge to SI, which I haven't had for a very long time...

And now I just want to cry and cry and cry. I should go to bed but 1) I have a paper to finish 2) I'm so anxious I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to fall asleep even if I did get in bed. I'm just tired of this - all this... homework, stress, some professors that don't quite get it (or are unwilling to listen), bad grades, no focus, anxiety. I was so hopeful for a long time that I had finally found the right meds and that I finally had control over my life. The roller coaster ride was supposed to stay at one level!!!

I'm sure this is the most repeated thing on this forum but I have to say it again: I'm so tired of this stupid out of control ride.