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phoenix7 · Nov 16, 2010, 08:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by treehouse

E-mail to T.

I don't know. I'm trying to make session okay in my head, even though it wasn't what I wanted (or needed or whatever) it to be. And you were like...in "person" mode more than "therapist" mode in some ways...and so I guess I'm trying to feel like I was with T the person, and that that's okay. Maybe I'm reaching, huh?

Sweet Treehouse - dont try to make it ok - just let it sit wiht you and let the feelings work themselves out - it doesnt HAVE to be ok.

I am really really really tired. I felt like I did a good job really hanging in there and holding so many big thoughts and feelings until today, and I seriously, SERIOUSLY can't believe I am here with them another week.

it sounds like this was an emotional ride that left you exhausted - somtimes trying to make another realise what you are saying is hard - andwhen its someone who usually is in tune wiht you - its frustratign as well as hard - no wonder youre exhausted. be gentle wiht you ok

I guess it makes me look for grace, so there's that. It makes me notice when things take a turn that I don't expect...when I realize I'm connected to people at my meeting, or when I catch myself in the mirror, laughing while (youngest son) and I are making our toothbrushing faces, or when (middle son with autism) surprises me by drawing a picture of God, or whatever. It makes me have to be open to whatever grace comes my way, because otherwise, everything just hurts too much.

and you already look for those things and appreciate them - see the progress you are making - you are doing such hard work dear Treehouse - somtimes there are bumps in the road and thats when we cling to all those wonderful little things that make life worthwhile - likethe toothpaste faces and beautiful drawings

Maybe I'm trying to "reframe" (therapist word!) all of this so I can get through the week. I don't know.

the hardest thing i found about a session was trying to make it "fit" - when you give up trying to make it fit - trying to make it alright and just see it for what it is - its less of a struggle - dont try to make it "right" just try to take whatever was good like the last 10 mins - and perhaps as has been said before - listen to your inner voice of T and see what he would say to you ... somtimes that helps me.....

My feelings feel so so big. And I am so so confused.

upi did a great job of letting T know what you were feeling - you did a great job or communicating - now do a great job of looking after you

take care my friend