OK - then let's get back to the beginning: what is your actual question? What can we help with?
We are not judging you, but people here are just trying to offer you some form of advice and support, which you are evidently taking the wrong way.

I'm personally feeling a bit offended by your replies. Maybe these concerns of yours also need to be raised in the "sexual" forum.

We only have the best intentions for each other; we're a very supportive forum and were only reaching out to you in the same vein.