Hi Bee and welcome to the forum.

Ahhh, there's nothing like love ... and one certainity in life is that few mothers can resist sticking their noses and mouths into their children's love life. I guess, that mothers in general believe there are no women good enough for their sons, or that is often the way it seems, and then again, I wounder if it isn't just a power thing for the mother.

Please don't take this the wrong way, for it is not how I think, but it may be that she may like you, but would perfer her son to make his own family instead of gaining a ready made family. And again, since you have children already, she knows you have been with other men too.

But the bottom line here is this - she is somewhat controlling and apparently has an agenda to keep her son close. You say he has never been over to even eat dinner with you and your family, and I say THAT is your biggest hint. The fact that he is building his new house right behind his parents - I can understand perfectly how one could write that off as they may have given him the land, but I can and will tell you he is a mommies boy and should you continue your relationship with him - be prepared to date his mother and his father - his family.

He isn't a man, but a puppet of his mother. Yes, you may love him and I am sure losing him would hurt like Hell, but the cold hard facts here is simply this ... If you marry him, you will also be marrying his family; especially his mother.

If you elect to remain with him for the ride (and yes, I do think this will be just a ride, or else he would be spending time with you and your family - for dinner here and there if nothing else), I fear you will have short changed yourself.

You deserve a man that will make you his focal point, a man that is a man and not a boy answering to a stonger woman - his mother. And your children need a man that can look at them and know this man wants them for who they are.

If you stay - I wish you and your children the best of luck, but sweetie? I would strongly recommend that you take your children and move on to better things. If you don't, you will always have to account to his mother. I think, you will have to settle for second fiddle and you deserve better.

I do wish you the very best of luck and hope that you will keep us informed on how you are doing. I do agree with Ozzie tho - you really should go the other way.

Your friend Sam

"You'll never know what you're capable of if you don't try."