Rap you are so right about recognizing the habit and doing something about it. The only problem with your suggestion, (uhhhh, you forget, good friends?....I've got none) this is a self-policing chore I'm afraid. Much the same as when I realized I was 'Touching Base' (is what I called it) with my spouse whenever he was quiet for a time. Hit him with 'Is everything ok? You alright? Shoot I wasn't asking really how he was, I was asking how I was, according to his feelings of me. When I figured this out, I had to devise a plan to occupy my mind for the hour or so in the morning while he drank coffee and woke up before going to work. This was the worst time of the day for it to happen. So I brought a radio into the kitchen to listen to for this time period and it helped a lot. After a few days I told him what I had been doing and how I was trying to fix it so I wasn't asking him, how I was doing. He was surprised and unaware of what had been happening, but I was, finally. The next morning as I went through the routine again, the thoughts and desire to continue the game were gone. Oh there have been other moments where they came, but I KNOW them now.

I have tried to ask him to help me, but really, Rap, the only person that can help is myself. He was unwilling to play the new game, and I don't blame him. I have the full responsibility of how I act, and figuring out my own boundaries. Because children need boundaries set for them by others, Adults do it themselves.