I got up early as we had to travel a few hundred miles to bring our daughter to a residential treatment facility for OCD. She has been building up to this for 3 months, waiting for admission, supposedly our insurance was already checked etc. We were told to be there at 12:00. Late last week I called and spoke with the financial office and tried to be sure that our insurance was covering the residential part of the fee. I was told if no one had told me otherwise, then yes. Okay, so then we get there and see her room, an empty double, and it is filthy. You all know I live with a ton of critters and a ton of people right?

Dust bunnies under and on everything, grime on the mirror and on the dest, bed table tops, dirt in the corners of the wooden beds and dust all over the drawers. Now I know about exposure and response prevention but what the heck? So we were told after our 1:00 visit with the social worker that we should go out to lunch and they would have housekkeping do the room. Yeah, didn't see any difference. Gross is a good word.

I am filled with so much to say. Brave daughter ready to fight the ocd demons and this place where at 4:00 I am summoned back over to the business office and told my insurance will not cover the $85.00 daily room and board. Oh yeah, I was on the phone to my insurance for an hour telling 8 people the same darned story.

Meanwhile my daughter is back in the building with dad and friends and I am in the vehicle not being happy, trying to get answers. I have appealed the decision and you better bet your sweet bippy I am going to be faxing some interesting letters to my insurance and the mental health managed care.

The dining room has an 8th of an inch of crud on the sill deviding it from the kitchen. In the hall way are trash containers, open, with feminine hygiene products. Yup, not in a red closed container, but in an open public one. Bathrooms are locked and no trash cans in there so the pads etc get deposited in public trash without covers! Ummm, yes, brave daughter still trying to be brave, she has made the decision to do this right. She asks for a room change and is told no. This room is really awful compared to some of the others and she is afraid to go in it.

We have our insurance appeal in and we leave. I am so upset, my stomach hurts and I feel like I am feeding my daughter to wolves. I can't get over the utter filth! I take .5 clonazapam in car and am out like a light for a few hours. I wake up and start the discussion all over again. It is not just the insurance company, it is the fact that they did not prepare us and have a firm back up plan in place. The hospital needs to take responsibility for this. The filth? Yup, they need to own that too. Health code violations in my state, what is it there? I will complain, be assured, once she is safely home. I am NOT a clean freak. I really get dirt. I am talking about not even scrubbing the desk and other surfaces and not using a vacuum and just plain crap all over the floor. I was told the bathrooms are very interesting. The mirror was smeared!

I am beside myself. I am in pain in my hips and legs now, my soul hurts. My friend who lives 45 minutes away is taking her for thanksgiving.

I can't read anyone tonight, I can't be anything tonight, I feel violated and above all I feel my daughter is violated. I left her there. She called and I called her back when I got home and she was trying to be so brave. She was fighting tears. Did I mention the walls are filthy also?

I mail her tomorrow her big fluffy studio pillows, a wall tapestry, lighter weight clothing and accessories. Maybe a bed cover that isn't hers so she doesn't worry about it. I am in so much pain.