I'm looking at what it was about this relationship that I really, really liked - those things are the clues to what I might want in my marriage
+ more one to one conversations?
+ permission to express all emotions w/o risk of being laughed at, or getting a defensive response, or angry response?
+ my male T never hugged me, but I crave that simple and safe act of reassurance and caring?

This is the hardest work in therapy so far.
Good luck to you, geez!