it took me the whole drive home (an hour) to work up the courage, but we're getting to the end of the telling the story part of trauma work, and I feel like I'm finally brave enough (for the moment) to ask her, what's next?

So, I did. I prefaced that by telling her that it is hard to ask, because I'm afraid of the answer.

She said after the story is done we review the (dbt) skills, then I'll start seeing her twice a month, and then once a month, and then as needed. She said that transition time can take as long as we need it to take.

I'm sad and relieved. I pretty much expected that answer, just from what I've read here and from what I know about DBT. Still, part of me must have wanted her to say "I want you to keep coming as long as you want to or need to." That part of me is sad.

I followed up the phone call with a text, because there's another part that I wasn't brave enough to ask her, even on the phone. I asked if we're going to talk about other trauma. She knows I'm referring to CSA. I also said that I imagine her answer will be maybe or something, but that I wanted to ask while I'm feeling brave in the hopes of stopping myself from spiraling out about it.

I'm wishing now that I hadn't texted but just called her again, though, because I'm waiting very uncomfortably for an answer.

This is all on top of a fairly intense trauma session, and I'm feeling pretty emotionally wiped out right now. Have to try to draw some reserves from somewhere and move on with my day and my week and my life.