Jexa, I'm so sorry for your pain You have every right to be sad right now. I can only give you my experience--and it probably won't help, because I'm a ball of confusion over it too. My T (and my only one i've had until EMDR-T started joining in) is definitely more neutral, clinical and I don't see her as maternal at all. I've struggled a lot with that face. Like would I open up easier to a more warm/maternal-like T? Maybe. Probably. BUT, for me, some of my core issues revolve around my mother and especially with her being warm and motherly. Kind of ironic that I find a T that seems similar in that respect. Yet whenever I really have freak-out moments (like last week) and really doubt whether we are the right fit or not (see "T and fit" thread), something deep down tells me I want to keep trying with her.

Maybe it is because I really hate change and I have been with her for a long time and the thought of starting over is awful sounding...but maybe it is also BECAUSE of my issues, that it is the precise reason why I should keep trying.

She may be more neutral and a blank slate, but she has shown me in a number of ways that she cares. She's called me back on weekends when she didn't have to, and has responded to e-mails in a very timely manner. She has told me when something I've said made her sad (that I didn't see that way), and I am really hoping that by sticking close to these new boundaries she's setting (her not responding to phone messages because she thinks its important to talk about it in session) also means she cares. I hope.

I don't know if any of this helps you, but I want you to know you are not alone.