Quote:
Originally Posted by alcira
This thread hits so close to home. I fully understand the pull towards these relationships despite the awareness that they will likely bring more pain. I also understand the struggle of wanting to get back into them and the knowing that you shouldn't. I am not sure there is really an easy way to stay out of them. The only way I have managed to do that is by reminding myself of all the past pain and keeping the fear of that pain alive but I don't think that is a healthy way to do that. I really feel for you at this moment. Stay strong!
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Alcira,
Thanks for being so honest and letting me know that you struggle with this same issue. I thought i had let these 2 former friends go -- hadn't seen them in a few years. During that whole time, though, the pain was still alive from what happened. Every time i'd think about how they rejected me, it would feel like stab ripping through my heart.
This should be enough warning signs internally for me to resist the urge to renew the friendships now. I can't count how many hours i've cried over how the relationships ended. I cried on and off for years. I had just got to the point where i felt i was moving on and the sadness was going away when i started running into them again, and they invited me back into a relationship. As much as i miss the good times, i'd probably be nuts to take them back into my heart.