((((((Jexa))))))

I'm so sorry, Jexa, that you're feeling so much internal pain. It makes sense that this would be hard for you because you were attached to your t and miss her. I would be feeling the same way.

I want to encourage you, though, to hang in there with this new t for a little while. When i first started seeing my t, i felt like she was too clinical and not warm enough. I didn't really click with her right away. But she has turned out to be wonderful. It has just taken some time to get to know each other and build up the relationship. The same thing might happen with your t.

Like as was already mentioned, don't assume that your friend is making excuses and doesn't want to see you. Take her words at face value. You have enough distress going on without adding more pain.

This is a time to really nurture yourself. Be gentle and kind to yourself. You are not too needy! Keep reaching out to others, including here on PC. Are there some hobbies or other things you can distract yourself with? Let yourself grieve for your t when the pain comes up, but then keep refocusing on the here-and-now. I know it feels horrible right now, but it won't stay this bad. You can get through this. We're all here with you.