i really do think in my case i did allow it. it didnt have to happen. i let it. i was never good at saying no. or not doing something i knew was wrong. i always worry about the other person. even as a kid. i always let people have what they wanted. still do. its a mistake i made and have to live with. i should have said no or resisted or something. but didnt. i did nothing. therefore i was wrong. the more i think about this stuff the more disgusted i am with myself. what kind of person was i or am i. it will probably come up in t at some point. as this stuff is the main reason im there.