Hey Suzzie, please be kind to yourself about the past, I know it's hard to do.

Now that I have young children, I see how completely powerless they are against adults. So I'm now looking at the other adults to decide if I can trust them.
The truth about who was right and who was wrong crashed down on me last year, but the past still presses me, I blame myself so easily.

Even if you have these thoughts in your mind, you are continuing to survive them. I hope you are also keeping your physical person safe, saying no now that you are older.