Ben, you crack me up!

I asked T at the end of session last week - does it bother him even when he tells people what they need to do to get better and they don't do it. He said no, because he doesn't tell people what they need to do. Then I said "OK, well then suggesting what they need to do and they don't do it." I don't make suggestions either.

Well if he's not telling me what to do or suggesting what I should do, why should it matter if I'm not over this in the same time frame as someone else? I don't think he meant to compare me to the other woman. He was saying how if you write down and pinpoint what it is that still has you tied to another person you can then figure out that it's not a valid reason any more, or something like that, and finally not give a bleeeep what the other person thinks about you. It happened for her in the span of time from one session to the next. Well, it didn't happen that quick for me.

Yesterday was probably the best non-therapy therapy I could have had. My biggest anxiety causer is my daughter not doing well in 9th grade and feeling that it's somehow a failure on my part - her homework setup could be better, I'm not hovering over her enough, I'm not reminding her enough - but then all 8 of her teachers and the guidance counselor pointed out that she does the same things in all of her classes that I'm seeing at home. Her dad was sitting two chairs over, hearing the same things. There's no way he can even try to convince me she'd do better if she lived with him full time during the school year. It's her poor organization and concentration that's the problem. She needs more than just constant reminders to keep working (my technique) or extra discipline and loss of privileges for failing to do her work (his technique). But try telling a Scientology wannabe that it's something that needs more than vitamins and exercise to control.

I was amazed that her dad was very non-smug yesterday. Usually he's quick to point out the failings of the school system. I don't know if he's being extra calm, cool, and collected just waiting for me to hang myself when I stop being on constant guard or what. Not gonna worry about it. I'm being a concerned parent, I took the steps to get this meeting set up, we started implementing their suggestions as soon as the meeting let out.

Our kids are the issue where I worry about what he thinks, even though T says I can't use the kids as an excuse. Every time they don't do so well in school, he tends to link it directly to my parenting abilities. Listening to her entire academic team voicing the same frustrations really got it to sink in that it's not just me and my parenting style. Her dad's been 50% of an influence on her for the last 14 years too. Man, if he thinks I have so much power and influence that I can solely screw up her life or cause her to succeed, I should be the arrogant one. LOL

One of her teachers even questioned if she has some OC tendencies because she gets soooo wrapped up in the details that she fails to complete the whole assignment. She has to get the leaf on this ivy trail in the background of this picture just right before she can move on to the next thing. She can literally spend hours on things like that, the time it takes most kids to finish the entire project. We all try explaining to her that she should do the major parts of the assignments and then go back and fill in the details, but it's just not happening. Hmmmmm, maybe she needs to take a painting class so she can see that's how they do their work (she's big into art) - fill in the large areas with big strokes and brushes and then go back with the detail brushes. The lesson just might carry over into other areas.