Urgh today is not better. I am at work but feeling weird. I hate our excessive behaviorism. Totally discounting the value of deeper emotional healing. Bandaids never worked for me, I have deep and festering wounds.

I think I am going to be in T for the rest of my life.

Tree, thanks. I'm trying to grieve but it is hard to know if I'm not allowing myself to feel something. I mean, if I think I feel fine, who's to say that's not how I actually feel? Until I just freak out later. Ugh.

Elana, thanks for that. It helps a lot, actually, to know that you've gone through the exact same thing. I hope I can get close to this T. I guess it's hard to know after only two sessions with her.

((peaches)) glad to hear your T seemed too clinical at first but you were still able to build a relationship! I don't have hobbies to distract myself with right now because, well, nothing interests me right now.. depression.. all I do is watch shows on Netflix and read PC. Sometimes I ride my bike too but I only can motivate myself to ride when I have to do something, like I will ride to go pick something up at the grocery store. Nothing is fun anymore.

I wish I could get into a book but I can't focus enough to read.