Have you tried the "on top" position? That position maximises penetration and uses up no energy for the one underneath.

It isn't unusual for a woman not to orgasm but you have stated a couple of times that it is pretty awful and I can tell you really mean it.

What I found helpful was discussing "Body Rythm"; getting to know each others bodies and the way they respond to each other. Spending more time on foreplay, experiencing the skin as the second most sensual part of the body.

One thing that I amazingly did find is that as a muscle the it is used the bigger it becomes. And rather than having sex every time we were together we slowed it down and made love every three to four days, and because we spend time touching and enjoying each others skin and built up to sex rather than just diving straight in, it lasted and was pleasurable.

Sometimes we have to work on making it better rather than just hope it will get better. I hope for you that you are able to work on it and come to enjoy it, no pun intended.