oh god. I started reading Linehan's book again. I am so caught up in this, I can't think about anything else, I can't keep waiting to not hurt, I am in a bad place I haven't been for a long time. Reading Linehan's book (about DBT, for therapists, not clients) is never, ever a good thing for me. When I start reading it I know I am caught up in the intensity of the therapeutic relationship. I am just trying to wait it out (the feeling, knowing it will change). But my god, waiting it out is the hardest thing in the world right now. Too hard.