My son is 9. I have been with my boyfreind for almost a year. He has lived with us before, but currently not living with us. This is my first major relationship (besides a few shorter term things) since my son was a baby so it has been just my son and I for about 7 or 8 years. He is very jelous and acts out when ever my boyfreind is over. Even though we haven't seen him in a week, he gets rude, talks back, doesn't want to do his homework and generally makes it hard for everyone to enjoy each other's company. It will go good for a little bit, then all of a sudden he wil make a snide remark and get worse from there. We have tried saying that we can't do fun thigns if he is going to act like that, and it doesn't work. We usually have movie plans or something and his behavior gets so bad that we can't even do that. I warned him before the last time that he will be grounded fo 3 days from computer/tv if he acted out the next time we saw him. Even though I mentioned it while he was freaking out, he still did it and I don't know if he was testing me to see if I would actually ground him or what. So I did. Today the first day of his grounding was wonderful, he got his homework done and cleaned his room and wrote about why he was grounded, but again it was just him and I so at least he was respectful to me. We havne't had the chance to see if the grounding worked with being respectful to my boyfreind.

The funny thing is, when my boyfreind isn't around, he misses him and wishes he was there when we come home. I think he is confused because he is used to men leaving and not coming back with the few relationships I have had that were short term and also his dad coming in and out of his life. This man is not leaving, even if we don't see each other for a a few days or a week, he is coming back. Maybe its abandonment issues with his dad? He also admitted that he gets rude to my boyfreind because when my boyfreind spends the night he can't sneak into my bed in the morning. Today my boyfreind wasn't here and he joyfully did his homework and cleaned his room with out much of an argument. This man is his first stable male role model to consistantly be around so I don't know if he is testing him or what? (His dad see's him like once or twice a year and has skitsophernia so its hard for him to be there for him) I think my son really wants me to get back with his dad and maybe thinks that showing love and care for my boyfreind might hurt his dad maybe in his mind?

I don't know! Please help! I really don't want it to cost me my relationship as my boyfreind is pretty freaked out by it. Of course I choose my son over my boyfreind any day but it has come to the point in my life where I deserve to have an adult relationship in my life.

Sorry so long!

Thanks!