I haven't seen a doctor in a while. I have been getting refills. My clinic here has switched my psychiatrist two times because they left. I was just informed by the nurse of the nurse practitioner I am seeing that I will receive no more refills until my appt on the 2nd of Dec. I disagree with this decision. Keeping someone from refilling their meds could result in a lot of things including suicide. I am not referring to me. They said there were two or three no-shows from me. I do not remember just not showing up, but rescheduling yes. And I received a letter from her cancelling an appt last month. I am dreading the visit fearing I'll get scolded. For one thing, it's hard for to get out. I don't like leaving the house. I don't have a car, and prefer a taxi.
I was living with my roommate from May 2009 to two months ago. I live with my cat now, and go to school online at U of Phoenix. I'm on my third "semester" now, but almost took a leave of absence a few weeks ago because I felt I just couldnt handle the school work. But I got through my finals anyhow. I am majoring in healthcare administration, but doubt I will find a job after I graduate in March. I have a long period of unemployment. I've been in Wisconsin since 2006 October, and haven't worked since I've been here. Maybe it will be retail again for me.
As for meds I am on Gabapentin for anxiety, Xanax, and citalprolam for depression. The Gababpentin really turns me into a zombie, but lifts my mood.
Right now I feel I am really losing it. Last month, I almost called 911 because I was out of Xanax and having panic attacks and feeling out of control. But I asked my ex-roommate for money to buy them since I didnt have it. I have been off my antidepressant for like two weeks? Can't get a refill. Thats when I called and found out I had to see her first. Sometimes I use Nyquil to calm me down. Sometimes Benadryl. Theres a lot more I coudl write about childhood stuff but I think Ill leave it for now.
Im glad to be here and hope to make friends and provide and get support here.

Lauren