I know what you all mean, from the other side of the fence. As the partner of someone who was severely depressed, I heard that stuff all the time too; also got labelled an "enabler" (even here at PC I got that one), a "sugar momma", and that I need to "get rid of the slacker". Ouch. Thanks for understanding... NOT.

Well here's a question:

What is your best advice for people who want to help? Think in terms of POSITIVE things they can say or do (not a list of "don'ts"). What should they say or do instead of the stuff you are (justifyably) complaining about?