I think your last post says it all, kitty. I hope that you can be a part of her life, but they may be trying to have her build trust with her stepmother, and if she still has a connection with you, the stepmom might see your request as undermining her. Maybe they will allow you into her life as an "aunt". I would take small steps with your ex...allowing you to take her on such a big trip may be something he is not willing to do, but staying in her life as an "auntie" will give you the opportunity to stay close, and maybe take her with you when she's older. Your heart must be breaking, and I feel so bad for you. I hope the situation resolves itself soon. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by an honest communication with her dad.