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hmmm... this is a tough situation, I'm sorry you have to go through it...
but, rest assured, I have been there too--having BAD thoughts, thoughts about
doing something that is not "ethically" right but, convincing yourself that you would never act on it...to an extent some of those feelings are quite normal, I think...but, it would be wise to discuss this with a professional..since it seems complicated. and to truly help you, I'll admit, I remember a time when I 'wanted' to be taken advantage of sexually...myself...but, of course, I never let that happen! its hard, you'll get through it.
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---  A bird doesn't sing because it has all the answers, it sings because it has a song.
Maya Angelou.
so sing. Jazz, sing. --jazzy123456
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"You're not here merely to make a living. You are here to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, and with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world. You impoverish yourself if you forget this errand." (Woodrow Wilson)
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