I live with my parents, I turn 27 tomorrow. My problem is that my mother, although she is caring with everything she does for me, she lacks that caringness whereas words are concerned.

she's constantly criticising me and says things like "you do this you do that.. you dont know how to be tactful, you suck at diplomacy, you're so messy always are.. sinc eyou came my house is so messy!"

I literally have maybe five shirts folded lying in the room and the rest is all HER mess from her cupboard and her clothes lying all over the place. Fault isnt hers either, its just that we don't have any space and she blames me for it.

she's constantly telling me i'm messy and I'm this an dthat and i'm just sick of it all, most of it is so darn untrue. Ok, I dont cook or anything, but i'll do tiny tasks like theres a lot of peopel comeing in and out of the house and i'll open/close doors, put food for her and give it to her, to my dad... tons of tiny tasks but she still says "you're useless, you dont do ****. you never have. you dont help me, i do so much for you. etc.." and it makes me so angry so

i finally told her that this was really damaging me psychologically, i really hated it when she said I don't know diplomacy. She yells at me if i ask "why" to a certain situation. When I expressed to her that this accusatory tone of hers really hurts me and I'm still trying to recover from the past, she totally got defensive and started saying I'm so unappreciative. it really hurt me

I used to tell my mom i can't sleep with her because she snores and she said "what? there's something wrong with you, everyone snores and everyone sleeps fine, wth is wrong with you? you're too much, its because you've been living on your own for too long, its messed you up.." all these things are really hurtful and damaging.. and when I said this to her she said "look at the outside world, when you go there, there arent gonna be people caring about your feelings etc".. but she's my mother, not the outside world!

She's constantly irritated, I just don't know how to deal with her and how to not let her comments hurt me. HELP!