Hi Ashley, welcome to PC! I hope you hang around here as you go through your journey. There is an endless amount of support, knowledge, and unconditional acceptance.

I can relate to everything you are going through right now, but I've had 30 plus years to wander my way to where I am.

When I was 28, I was also 95 lbs and I am 5'0". What I can tell you for sure is that if you don't get help for whatever behavior is causing the weight loss, your body won't hold out long enough for your mind to heal.

You didn't say if you're getting therapy for your BDD, but meds in conjunction with cognitive behavioral therapy have shown good success.

CBT and meds also benefit other disorders, including BP. And don't be afraid of meds. I spent my life having flashes of creative brilliance, but rarely finished anything, and like you, hated a lot of what I did. I was criticized for wasting my talent and intelligence (unfortunately stuck with the IQ label of 145, which in no way defines who I am).

I have learned to accept that I may not have those flashes of brilliance, but my talent and intelligence is still there. The only difference is that I have to be more the norm and actually apply myself to the task. I've found that it's a much more satisfying victory.

Whatever diagnosis you get, whether it's one or a combination of disorders, the most important thing is to get the proper treatment...and remember, you are so much more than any disorder. I hope you can learn to love yourself. We love you!