AmDaws, I agree with cheshire. Everyone is different, everyone needs something different to help them grieve, and I hope you can find a healthy way to deal with your loss. Talking about it is helpful, as you've been told, and writing your feelings down can also be very cathartic in dealing with the pain. I went through my own personal hell some years ago, after losing my youngest brother, eight years of absolute hell, and I can understand a little about what you're going through. If you want someone to talk to, you can talk to me. I hope you can heal from your pain.