The appointment went well. I told her what is going on. The freakouts, the loneliness, the anxiety, my problems with my friend, all that. I even described my typical meltdown. I didn't tell her about my lack of trust of her because, well, I think I'm already working on being honest with her and don't need to directly talk about it. She didn't really get what was going on with me so well at first but I think now she does. She wants me to try to practice mindfulness, just choosing one activity to do mindfully each day. At first she suggested being mindful in the shower, but I have issues with that, so I'm going to think of something else. Not sure what though. Any ideas?

I feel kind of relieved. Maybe she will never be a "mom" but I think she can help me. In fact, maybe it is better that she is this way -- I will be more motivated to heal. I wish we could have weekly sessions. Starting in January we will.