I am so sorry for you Maven but want to encourage you to pursue your dreams however you can. Don't think in terms of obsticals, think in terms of solutions. Money is always a problem. Can you apply for a grant to do what you want or try to get financial aid to go to school if that will bring you toward your goals? I'm not meaning to offer specific solutions as much as to show that there are always options we can take, but we often won't allow ourselves to see those options because depression shields up from them.

>>because I told my boyfriend my feelings years ago, and he admitted I can be a burden.

I hate that anyone would ever say this to you. "Burden" is in the eye of the beholder. You can never be a "burden" to someone who supposedly cares for you and loves you. Look at it this way... you have some difficulties... things that make life very hard for you in some way. You carry that weight yourself. Someone comes along and, because he recognizes your value, he offers to help you carry some of your weight. It is not a "burden" it is a part of having a close connection with someone, there are always good things and hard things and you accept them and help where you can. If you can't, then you move on. That person wasn't for you. It is his choice to help you, to be around you, for him to call you a "burden" sounds just mean or manipulative on his part... or maybe he just wasn't thinking at the time.