I don't have much advice, but I wanted to let you know that I also have emotional freak outs with my boyfriend too. Whenever I feel like I'm being abandoned, left alone, or unsafe, (this frequently happens when he falls asleep at night for whatever the reason. Not quite what you're going through, but the feelings are the same, I think). I haven't really figured out what to do about these. I've been reading books on borderline and I'm also working on Codependent No More and Letting Go of Anger. I also just started with a therapist a few weeks ago, and I'm not at a point where I feel comfortable telling her about my freak outs, but hope to be able to bring it up soon. I just wanted you to know you're not alone. I think these feelings do come from ourselves (especially mine) and us not being secure in who we are and our self worth. In your boyfriend's case, it might be that there is more that he could do to help you feel better and thus he is being inconsiderate, but at the same time we have to remember that we are responsible for how we feel. I really struggle with these things. I would suggest looking up information on mindfulness and DBT skills (acknowledging a feeling, naming it, and the letting it go... Much easier said than done).

Good luck and take care!