T called me this afternoon. I was so relieved, because even though I was trying to distract myself and not worry about it, part of me was really worried she would forget to call and then I would have to deal with all the emotions that would bring up in me.

So, she called. She asked how I am, and if I was having a better day than yesterday. She apologized for not having anything left to give last night. She said she was concerned about me and wanted to help me but just didn't have anything left.

I told her that I understood that, and that it reminds me of how I am with my kids. When my battery is at zero like that, and my kids ask things of me that I'm not able to give, it doesn't mean I don't care about them. T seemed really relieved that I was thinking about it that way, I have a feeling she thought she may have created a rupture.

I also told her that it would have been really easy for me to think she was saying she didn't have anything left to give ME, that she couldn't handle ME, and that I stopped and thought about it and realized it didn't have anything to do with me. I said, "thank you, I need reminders every now and then that everything isn't about me"

She said "wow, good job challenging your thinking about that! And no, it had nothing to do with you. I just didn't have anything left last night. When I got home my dog wanted me to pet him and I couldn't even do that." I know her dog is a really big part of her life, so that told me just how worn out she was.

So we talked about self-care for a little while, how it's so important to keep things in balance because when one thing gets out of whack everything else can kind of just fall apart. She said one way she's doing self care is to "pull a zooropa, and cancel my appts for Friday and just chill out at home for the day." That made me laugh. I hope she thinks of me every time she decides to cancel her day and just stay home.

She told me to have a good weekend, and keep breathing, and call her if I want to OR need to.

It just felt really, really good.

this is amazing, tree. Thank you so much for that. I'm going to think about that. It feels really big.