It OK to feel bad when T can't be there for us. Earlier this year, my T saw me on normal session on Wed but didn't say anything about not being available by email the rest of the week. So there I was still dealing with trauma stuff and emailing him, but he was not responding. Then I wrote and said something like "I feel you are gone away and I need you." He wrote back only a few words "I am here" and that really threw me!! I was thinking all sorts of things! I kept writing and he said nothing. Then I wrote asking if he could see me Friday after work. He wrote back "I am at a funeral today so I am not in the office, but if you go into crisis, call me on my phone. I will have that on."

I thought OMG! What! Who died!! ??? I had noticed on Wed T was dabbing at his eyes a lot but I never asked why. I thought it was about me and the trauma as that has made him tear up at times. So I decided to google his last name to see if I could find out what was going on... and I found the obit for his grandmother and it listed T as a paulberrer. UGGG!!!!! She had passed away Tue and there my T was seeing clients the next day!!

I wrote nothing else in email, but when I did see him, I told him I saw the obit. He didn't say anything. I told him I was very sorry for his loss. He thanked me and then turned the conversation back to me.

I still sometimes wish he would have just canceled the session that day and told me he had a family issue!