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Dec 11, 2003, 05:35 PM
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Member Since: Dec 2003
Posts: 104
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<font color=purple> Thank you again Carrie, you have very valid and inspiring points. And I care about the two years of not cutting, but I am so damn sick of the world right now, that I don't really feel like i have accomplished much, if anything. So this is my delima, trying to survive until this depression and hopelessness passes. I've been "surviving" for over 5 years...so I will most likely be able to do it again. It's not that i don't want to go on living, i do. I want to live, I have plans for my life, it's just that right now those plans and goals seem so far away. I guess one thing that has really lifted me up in the past has been my faith in God. However, my faith has taken some serious hits lately, and i'm really not sure who seek advice from. i know there are people at my church that would be more than happy to listen, but i don't want to burden them.
The thing is that when i was in high school and going to church regularly, there were things for me to do, there was a youth group and choir and sunday school class, all for high school. Now that i am out of high school i really don't feel comfortable in the high school group, and i really too young for the adult groups. so i'm hung out to dry until i'm like 25. there isn't a young adult class...and i really need one.
Anyway, now that i've babbled for a while i am going to go. But to update on my cutting, i did cut last night....i feel like i'm on such a downward trend...spirally down and down, and i've got nothing to grab onto and pull myself up. (sigh) oh well....</font color=purple> 
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[b] These wounds won't seem to heal...this pain is just too real..there's just too much that time cannot erase....[b]
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