deli, you've brought up some very good points that make me think. Would I do this if it were a teacher, doctor, or lawyer? Maybe, if I had the kinds of feelings for that person. But I don't. It must be the set-up of the t-relationship, the intimacy, transference that triggers the longings to belong to her somehow.

Could I have stopped myself? Yes. I admit that I chose to do it. No one made me but myself. Like when I eat the cookies or chocolate I shouldn't have. I'm not good at controlling my impulses but I never binge. I have a stopping point. I wanted to drive past Ts house and tell her about it. So it's a little complicated. I want her attention and maybe punishment, though she won't punish me.

That is a good idea about the parts drawing a picture of her house. I could have tried to talk the parts out of going. But I didn't want to! My T would have asked how I could give my parts what they need. It seemed like it was my Self that wanted to do it. My adult self, I mean. I agree with you that it's not such an okay thing that I did, and I am also surprised that so many people posted that they thought it was. Of course this is PC and we are not the healthiest people in the world, LOL.

Hijacking here a little. The weather in my area may be stormy when T is supposed to come back. That makes my heart race. Maybe going past her house was supposed to prove that she'll be safe. But there are no guarantees about anything in life. I can't deal with that.