from Above You, Below Me by Badly Drawn Boy

This is the kind of philosophical subject that can make for fascinating conversation and yet stay incredibly obtuse. Maybe that's why it's so fascinating.

We're born with zero concept of who we are in relation to our environment. That leads to the premise that our self-worth develops through external subjective influences. Add to that the neurological skewing caused by mental disorders and it's no wonder we question who we are.

It seems to me that many times I worry over a characteristic that a mentally stable person would not. Say, for instance, being the person you want me to be at that moment. Yet, this is one of the ways society survives and people get along. I might sit on the patio with my family drinking beer, singing bawdy songs and making rude jokes but I wouldn't stand in line at the grocery store and behave the same way.

There are circumstances in life that I can't change. I can't make myself not be bipolar anymore than I can make myself not be 52 years old. I hope someday to be able to look in the mirror and say, "I am everything that you see, and I am everything that you don't see." And be okay with that.