Poets...it's really, really hard, isn't it? This isn't a phobia like a fear of heights or flying, because that is something you can successfully avoid and not have to submit yourself to the traumatic experience. No, this is so much worse because you can't stay locked up in your house for the rest of your life. I hear you. I had it full-blown when I was your age and I still have it now in my late twenties. I am functioning and am able to manage it most of the time.

I strongly urge you to get professional help, no matter what it takes. It's the only way. You won't be able to conquer it on your own. Take care.