Wow, it sounds like you're kinda caught in the system. I was originally "diagnosed" with depression by my T so she sent me to a pdoc to get medicated. He'd put me on antidepressants and I'd take them for a while with no results then magically be better and stop taking my meds. I moved so I saw several different doctors none of whom believed me (I just knew in my heart I had BP).

It took 7 years before I committed myself to a mental institution. I was going from depressed to manic about every 5 min. The pdoc there saw me once and knew. He made the diagnosis. I fired the pdoc I had been seeing off and on for 7 years because even when I came out of the hospital with a BP diagnosis he refused to believe it or treat me for it.

I got a new pdoc who liked to change my meds every 2 weeks... He left me unmedicated for 2 weeks so I, in my out of control (not to mention terrified) state threatened to report him to the licensing board for malpractice (leaving me unmedicated). He changed every one of my meds that day - it was the combination that worked. But I still changed pdocs. The one I've got now is great, he listens to what I say. I now take Seroquil, Gabapenten, Xanax, and I have a script for Ativan for panic attacks. But that's what works for me.

I hope you find the help you need soon :-) Until then we're here to support you. Well, and afterwords too *laughs at self.*