Ok, so I just wanted to see if maybe this is just me, or if this is a common thing.

Note that I do have Social Anxiety - was bullied in school as a kid, and fear being out in public places that are crowded (even though I guess technically that would be Agoraphobia? from my bad days of IBS).

Either way, here's the situation: I don't have any friends. I have a couple people I can talk to, but truth is that they're really only available because they're related somehow. I am lucky enough that one of my old high school friends is now my future sister in-law, but even then, we're not 'solid'.

Thing is, I really do want to try to have friends... but every time I meet someone I click with, I ALWAYS find some excuse to fall thru with plans (to hang out). Same thing has actually happened with the mentioned sister - tried making plans to hang out more so we could build a friendship (because in my darkest hours, I do confide in her regardless so she knows this), but "something" always happens to make me a no-show at the last minute.

Why do I do this?! I mean, sometimes my stomach has legitimately started hurting before an event due to anxiety, but I don't understand HOW to break this cycle. It's as if I just don't feel bothered. In all honesty, I have been back-stabbed by people close to me before and this could contribute to it, but I do want to try!

Has/Does this happen to anyone else, and what do you do?