Thank you all so much for your insight and advice... My therapist has mentioned before that it's normal to feel emotionally volatile before something big comes up in therapy. Usually I just completely shut down and feel numb but this may be a different form of that.

I'm being really honest with my therapist, she is so great that things I can barely even articulate out loud I've told her. She's always careful with me and if I'm upset with her for something totally illogical or in my head, she'll still draw it out of me so we can talk about it and process it...I'm really lucky to have her.

I've been on the same anti-depresent for about 3 years now - what I hesitated to talk about before and sometimes don't mention in full detail with my therapist is that I think I may be using Adderall and Klonopin to control how I function through the day (Klonopin induced naps, low dose of Adderall before I go out with friends). I'm scared because at times I actually need these medicines, I just wish I wasn't taking them so freely. This may have to do with the start of the sleeping problems. I've also been smoking pot everyday for the last few weeks and I know that makes it hard to wake up in the morning. These are things I'll bring up tomorrow in session (therapist said it was okay for me to meet with her on a weekend since I was feeling so unstable - I am so thankful)

Thank you all for your support, I didn't mean to just dump all this on you. I know everyone is going through struggles that affect them personally and I appreciate you all for taking the time to listen to me and lend some calming advice. I am very grateful to have this message board and all of you to help me through things and I hope I can offer helpful advice to others on the board too. Everyone have a nice evening