I deal with social phobia and clinical depression, but this was something new. I have to say that to all of you who suffer from panic attacks, I now have an appreciation of what you have to endure....YIKES.

The reason for the panic attacks is somewhat odd, because the reason is not a bad one. In the last month or so, I have been having major breakthroughs in my therapy...having to do with totally coming clean and being more open about things than ever before! The whole experience of letting it all out was mind-blowing. This created a very real sense of euphoria for me, because I keep going back and reading what I wrote down, and I'm flabbergasted that I did it. So, I have been feeling mostly high as a kite for the whole week. But I had 3 panic-like episodes, one was in the middle of the night and I could not go back to sleep, my heart was beating out of my chest and I was breathing heavy. The other two were at work and again, my heart started beating. I couldn't stop fidgeting around in my seat nor catch my breath. I was able to treat the most recent panic attack by having some water, and getting up from my desk and sitting in a chair across the room...away from the computer screen. I eventually calmed down.

I am going to talk to my therapist on Monday and see what she says. I have some idea of what's going on here. Maybe it's just that the emotions are so intense from this "bloodletting" (so to speak) that just feeling happy thoughts and smiling are not enough to express this stuff. Also, I am not a big crier (both good and bad times)....so maybe this is my body's way of having a happy cry?