yes thats ok, a good therapist will allow you to discover them and what you need, rather then they sholve it down your throat, I was reading winnicott the other day and he talks about the importance of the "space" given to people for just that purpose, he gives an example of a child being given a toy, they need time to "discover" its purpse and meaning to him/her and with time will reach out and begin to explore/use it as they wish too. I know I have a fear of abandoment and engulfment and if someone shoves something at me it feels awful. Though you may feel your talking to a chair with time your find that not to be the case, and actually therapy is about having the space to talk and to hear what your saying yourself? its about being able to get to know yourself, the T is listening believe me, I felt very much like you at first unable to tolerate pace nor calmness nor silence.