Kayleigh... I can't speak to your dx or whoever has questioned your motives... but from what you post some these could be signs of depression. Are you in treatment? See a therapist or a psychiatrist? Taking any medications to help?

There is help with the feelings you have... the feelings of being unworthy, and when you are depressed you tend to push people away and then feel like you have no friends.

I can tell you that I have no family to help me out... my friends have gone "scarce" since I became ill (I only have one that really stays in touch) and I don't have a b/f or any sort of significant other in my life. So from my point of view you are one up on that Not that that makes you feel any better, nor should it necessarily, but the point is depression really distorts ones reality, but it is unnecessary to suffer the consequences if you seek treatment and work hard at recovery.