As someone who has been diagnosed BP 1 four years ago a dchas had good and bad times through it- I think you sound like I do when I'm not 100% ok. Unsettled. Feeling ick. Irritable, angry,
maybe a bit paranoid. But that's just my take based on myself. I hope you can find it in you to try the doc again and get some meds. When we're having an episode, we sometimes revel in the mania - that's part of the problem in treating bipolar.