I have the problem of not looking at my therapist still, after four years. Initially, I could hardly look at all, I mean not at all. Then, I progressed to looking at him when he opened the door to let me in at the beginning of the session. Sometimes I could look at him when I said goodbye. We let it be. It is very, very rarely that he will ask me to look at him--maybe twice in the last 8 or 10 months. There are several reasons I find it difficult, all of them emotional, of course: anger, fear, shame, guilt, and love. We are so vulnerable in therapy...that's often much of the point: that we let ourselves be vulnerable. Just telling someone what is happening for us is a huge step. I, myself, spend much of my emotional life not looking at what is what--as in, I allow myself to see it out of the corner of my eye, know it's there, and even that I am doing something to perpetuate it, or acting as I do because of it. So, letting that life be present in the room, is a huge step. I think I don't look at my therapist because I am testing all the time to see whether or not he is getting it right, and I am testing to see how he will react. If he can guess what is going on, or if I am brave enough to fully allow it (whatever it is at the time) to be said, then I want to know how he's taking it before I let him see not just my eyes, but even my face. Whew.....all that said, it's come down to this: it's okay. And it is okay: it is FAR, far, far more important that you show up for therapy than that you force a sign of engagement--which is what we call my looking at him. We are engaged by even making an appearance. The looking at another is a way to give them a sign that we are engaged---as in THEY need the sign, it helps them feel like we are in the room with them. WE know we are. So, maybe you could ask if there are other ways you could give him signs of engagement--like nodding, asking questions, repeating what he said to check that you are hearing what he said, not what you are afraid he said..........?