Sometimes, especially at first, that connection with your T provides a stark backdrop of what has been missing in your life.

For me it was kind of like "now once I have seen a light, it points out the darkness that much more clearly".

I think mourning that darkness is essential. So much wasted, simply because I didn't really know there was a light out there, or how to get at it.

But I would try to allow this feeling to be a catalyst for change as well.

I'm not perfect - oh no not by ANY means - but in a real way we really do have a choice in how our lives evolve.

I hope you feel better soon. Soon I wish for you to be surrounded by that light.